Pretty

Bruises and cuts, angels and demons, angles and memories
Of days when the crown danced on my hair and the throne
Called my name so clear that the whole world stopped
And stared.
In an instant I was waltzing with princes and thieves
Chanting some trance while the sirens crept in
Stealing souls and tasting hearts so deep in madness
That love itself fell into our waters and poisoned our smiles
Leaked through our blood and into the candy exchange of spit
And stranger wonders than that.
Oh, the good times that plagued me, destroyed me, and made me
Formed into me a goddess , lifting me off the ground and into
The universe of my arrogance, the planets of my insecurity.

To be pretty
To look into the glass sculpture against the wall,
mesmerized.
To dance on the shallow clouds of confidence
And never once fall.
To seduce the vampires with just one tilt of my head
Falling into the ocean of opportunity and chance
And to dance on the planets this brittle heart used to own.

Give me, grant me, send me the good times back.
This shell of a corpse with scrapes and dents can’t hold me
Know me and use me. Can’t bend me and break me
Into the Aphrodite I once knew. And loved.
To the world and earth I used to breathe, I used to believe.
This air’s too heavy, this room too neat.
Slam me against the ground and send me back in time
When the angels and demons knew me by name
by voice, by walk, by stance, by grace.

Oh to be her, to be she, to be the girl I used to be
I yearn to be. To exhale hell only inhaling heaven.
To know the night and every star in sky waits for me
And with every sunrise another heartbreak, another beautiful mistake.

What I wouldn’t sacrifice, what I wouldn’t trade
To be me, just once and forever all in the same
To sleep with traitors and rise with servants
To enchant, to amuse, to pretend
to be alive and to be free.