Under Pressure

God, if you’re listening, your daughter is dying.
The walls have broken down and the demons came dancing.
The wind came too fast and my patience is breaking.
I’m standing on the verge of my sanity, breathing insanity
Swirling through memories and drowning in nightmares.
These nights don’t end and the days burn deep into my skin
And as the whole world goes waltzing along, my heart keeps breaking
Trying to understand these challenges you gave me.
Grace me with your presence, come down and talk to me
Reassure me from the blade, walk me out of the kitchens
Out of the closets and out of the madness.

God, if you’re there, your daughter is crying.
The floor keeps on falling and the angels keep mocking.
The ceiling is rising and my head is pounding.
I’m standing on the verge of the sun, perfectly ready to burn
Watching my sticky skin curl up into the bones, the circulation of nonsense.
These nights scream with the horror of what I just can’t forget
And the days come laughing as I am barely standing
Trying to balance what’s happened and what’s coming.
Bless with some dream, bless with everything
To guide me, to help me fight all of these fiends
Back to the eternal flames of my regret.

God, if you love me, your daughter is breaking.
Breaking the pattern and breaking into the dawn
Breaking into heaven so please hear me out.
This weight on my shoulders has knocked me down
Hard against the solid concrete floors of heaven to lay at your feet
Begging for mercy, begging for grace, begging for redemption.
So God, if you know me, come sit with me a while
Whisper in my ear and calm me down
Because I’m dangling by threads planning too soon
Of an end I can’t take, a dream from a younger tune.